Organizing, decluttering, and cleaning out is hard. It can be emotional and stressful, even for us professional organizers. Learning to get rid of stuff comes down to examining why you feel the need to hold on to it. We hold on to things for different reasons, but it’s rarely because we truly need them. It may be the emotional attachment to your older children’s toddler clothes or the guilt of throwing away that sweater your friend got you that you never really liked anyways. Here are some of the most common reasons why people have such a hard time letting go of excess clutter and some ways to finally purge yourself of all that stuff weighing you down.
Sentimental items have a strong pull. These items are usually the hardest category to deal with and one that is often best left for last. Sentimental clutter, including mementos of special moments, can keep us lingering in the past, instead of being present in the moment. Sometimes we keep so many of these items that we have no place to store them. The problem arises when we attach sentimentality to nearly every one. You have to decide if something is truly sentimental or just old. One of our favorite sayings is, "if everything is precious, nothing is."
When it comes to decluttering sentimental items, take it slow. Honor those memories. You still have those amazing memories in your mind and heart, you are just getting rid of the physical stuff. It is not clutter if you put items that truly add value and represent wonderful memories in contained, labeled containers. At HSH we are big believers in memorabilia boxes. Just make sure you let the space define how many of these bins you have.
Clutter fills a void. Clutter can help hide anxiety, sadness, anger, or loneliness. It fills your time and space and keeps you focused on something other than those emotions. For a lot of people, clutter or the shopping associated with it, can be comforting and a break from those feelings. We hold onto things, or buy new things because we think it will give us comfort or happiness. But happiness doesn’t come from things, or holding on to things. When you free the clutter, it helps you deal with the real problems and issues around you.
Surrounding yourself with possessions you truly love is important. However, extra stuff does not provide lasting comfort and, in fact, robs you of your time and energy. Try to stop feeling like you have to be “filled” with something. Or find other ways to personally fulfill yourself with experiences or relationships. Take the emphasis away from the stuff.
Declutter one room you spend a lot of time in, like a bedroom. Go through the items and ask yourself do I love it? use it? need it? want it?. Once you realize how calming and comforting a clutter-free space can be, it will motivate you to tackle other spaces.
Clutter provides security. Have you ever said to yourself, “I don’t want to throw out X because I might need it later. The fear of needing something prevents us from making a choice based on logic or reason now. Value the goals you have for your space today and don’t worry about regretting a past choice. Evaluate the belonging. Is it a low risk item like a specialized kitchen utensil? Is it something that you could borrow or rent later, if needed? Is it an item that would not cost a lot to replace? It is ok to hold on to a few items for the future, but don’t hold on to tons of stuff for the “what ifs” in life.
I don’t want to waste money. “I paid good money for this.” “That wedding gift was really expensive.” Even if it is an item you know you no longer need, you have the guilt of how much you, or someone else, paid for it. That is what is called sunk-cost attachment. The money has already been spent and holding on to it is not going to bring it back. Focus on the value to you now, not the original cost. Don’t waste more time, energy, and storage space on things that don’t bring you value. Consider selling or donating the items that have a value to others.
Home should be your happy place. You shouldn’t feel like you are suffocating in it or are so buried by all your stuff that you can’t fully enjoy what you do love. That means being intentional about eliminating the things that overwhelm and burden you. Just remember getting rid of stuff does not mean you are getting rid of the precious memories.